| Summary: | So far, polygamy has obtained pro and contra discussion. Nevertheless, there are some
polygamy families maintaining their marriages. There are some reasons for these polygamy
families, some of wives on these families chose another wife for her husband or willingly being
the second or the third wives. In order to minimize serious conflicts on polygamy family are
needed good interaction abilities toward each family members. One of interaction abilities is
empathy ability to maintain a good relation.
This study is motivated by researcher�s interest in interactive empathy in polygamy
family. This study used case study method between two different cases on polygamy families:
polygamy families having serious family conflicts and few conflicts.
Data collection is used by interview (in depth interview) and observation. Total
respondents in this study are seven (two polygamy husbands, two wives, one child, and two
knowing informants) which are from two different polygamy families.
This study result disclosed that two polygamy husbands had similar intention on deciding
to have polygamy: sex, in which started by conflicts in the households. The wives of them, at
first, showed rejection attitudes but then changed their attitudes to tolerate because of harmony
value in Java culture. Empathies in these two families (called AN and SR) have different
process. Interactive empathy in AN polygamy family has been built from its polygamy marriage
by forgiving her husband because of similar experiences of the first and second wives (having
marriage after got pregnant). Thus, interactive empathy has been built between the first wife
and second wife. While, interactive empathy in SR polygamy family is very conspicuous
emerging when SR admitted the second wife to did treesomesex with two men in order to
release her grudge toward the first wife because of her disappointment for being second wife,
then built interactive empathy between SR and the second wife. There were inner individual
conflicts when trying to empathize toward their husbands/ wives or children because they
wanted to prioritize their feelings. After some considerations emerged understanding of others�
feelings, then emerged �if I were her/ him.� Then it happens reciprocally and continuously needs
adjustment and individual acceptance process.
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